MICK LEE
Recently appointed Chairman who is clearly aiming to take over the Club, before heading for World domination. Slow batsman who scores every run behind square. Bowling is an assortment of very slow swingers or pies.
Nickname: Boycs, Slowcoach, Mister Chairman, Gilbers
Career highlights: Always with his ‘other’ club down south, not here
Best performance: Probably with this other club
Worst performance: Any of his run an over (or less) innings of 20 overs or more
Mistaken for: The Scarlet Pimpernel
Identity: Takes on many disguises on Saturdays
Batting style: Painfully slow until he has been in at least 5 hours
Bowling style: Awful load of tosh, both alleged spin and swingers
Fielding: If he doesn’t catch it, it’s trouble. Anything he has to bend down for is four.
Fave TV: Anything with Geoff Boycott in it
Cricketing heroes: Sir Geoffrey
Occupation: Some marketing nonsense
Likes: Slow-scoring innings. Count every run while batting (it’s not hard to count in ones)
Dislikes: Players who hit boundaries. Scoring runs in front of square
Fave music: That eighties stuff, it was really cool, yeah, Daddy-o
Hobbies: Writing about cricket
Superstitions: Ask for a Chairman’s Single when on tour
Hairstyle: Grey
Body shape: Mr. Blobby with short legs
Fielding position: Wants the slips, but useless there. Better off at mid on / off. 4th choice keeper
Shots in locker: Squirt through point, tickle to leg, nurdle
Fave food: Cake
Opinions on cricket: None
Criminal record: That hotel we stayed at in Brighton in 2007 – choosing that place was a crime in itself
