MACKEREL & MITESH MAKE MINCEMEAT OF MIDDLE ORDER

Castlethorpe v North Grange Park, 28^th May, South Northants Div 1

Basher

Employed his rather casual looking running style in the field but still covers the ground faster than most with those long legs. Snaffled a tidy catch at deep mid on as was forced to watch Dommy don the gloves. Lightning running between the sticks during our innings which benefited his opening partner more than him. Scored exclusively in boundaries (two) before being adjudged leg before by Nigel who elected to stand purely for our innings. Same umpire had denied him two runs off the glove earlier when signalling leg bye. Lottery.

Chairman

Bored by fielding in the gully so manoeuvred himself to square leg, where took a skier off a no ball from Mistry. Then manoeuvred himself to long off where he displayed a new catching technique which involved carefully placing his cap on the ground while the ball was in the air then standing up straight and just catching the ball. Scampered his way to 15 with the bat including his first boundaries of the season (both behind square) before caught behind off the glove.

Yam Yam

Extraordinary stamina in the field in terms of keeping up a constant flow of yakking from first slip. No m ore catches again at first slip, rumoured he did run after one ball as well. Smashed some fearsome boundaries as he top-scored with 38, and smashed his pads as usual upon dismissal. Could have gone on and secured an easy win for us if he’d been bothered. Still not removed the rubbish he was supposed to take away two matches ago.

Nick

Lost the toss once again. Nun-fer bowling stint. Manoeuvred himself to mid on so could demonstrate his own catching technique of wiping his hands several times on his shirt before pouching an easy one. Two runs with the bat ensured that today Dingers had the lowest fantasy point haul of the day. Thanks for turning up skipper.

Scotty

Got himself the plum position of square leg for most of the fielding time, and no catches came his way. Was mentally preparing himself for batting against the team he was expensively transferred from (£5) at the start of the season. Went out and steadied the ship somewhat. His smash over extra cover for 4 was his only scoring shot, and volunteered himself that he contributed those 4 out of 61 made whilst he was at the crease. Happy to win the game though.

Dommy

Given the keeper gloves for first time in a while and it showed at first as we thought we had a crocodile behind the timbers. Settled into it soon though after spilling a tough one-handed chance then looked like his old self with one catch. Down at number 6 in the order but it was a good job he was. Looked solid as a rock and stroked some lovely offside shots as the wickets tumbled at the other end. The calmest man on the pitch as we needed 1 run to win with 1 wicket left. Blocks first 5 balls of an over then aims a big swipe over mid off – and connects – four runs – we win.

Gino

Full of commitment as ever in the field, never dies not knowing. Promoted to number 7 when just ten minutes of the Hooped Warrior at the crease would have seen us home. Unfortunately we only got 2 minutes of him, as he decided to go for a little walkabout at the crease as their fielder hovered near the stumps with the ball. Run Out for 4.

Finno

Keith arrived all set for a great day behind the stumps, unfortunately then had to hand over his newly purchased keeper kit to Dom. Gambled around in the field and even took a sharp catch in the covers. Came on first change, to the surprise of many. Less surprisingly, was despatched for 19 off his two overs including a couple of sixes. No matter, Keith is the man to make up for this with a non-nonsense smashing of the bowling to lead us to victory. Well actually he wasn’t, following a cultured leg glance for four he then saw his wickets dismantled. Not all of his sandwiches were consumed at tea – either over-production or a comment on his culinary skills. Only those who were there can really comment.

Tango

Swinging opening bowling spell with little reward, once again beating the bat loads. Plonked himself in at short cover for Mystery Man, against the advice of many. Promptly plucked a catch off his chest. Didn’t expect to have to bat today being listed at number 9, but this is Castlethorpe. Strode out purposefully, defended a couple purposefully, then walked back even more purposefully having been resoundingly castled for a duck. Michelle (Mrs. Tango) laughed for the entire length of his sad trudge back to the pavilion. Then she refused to pick him for her fantasy league team.

Mackerel

Spent the first 14 overs hiding under a helmet and standing very very still at all times. Surprisingly nobody volunteered to look after his box when he belatedly came on to bowl. His first 5 balls went for 9 runs, and we envisaged chasing nearly 300. Over his next 38 deliveries managed to hypnotise the opposition into a Sri Lanka style batting collapse, then taking 5 for 10. Three of the wickets came from long hops and full bungers, but in between some did turn. Listed at number 10 so told his team-mates he did not expect to have to strap his pads on today. How wrong he was. One run to win, and a sturdy citizen to have coming in at that point. First five balls faced were either blocked solidly or smashed to the one man halfway to the boundary in the covers, but he decided not to run. The shot to the sixth ball is still difficult to describe. ‘Spooned up like a spanner’ was the politest we heard after the match. Joint Man of The Match though.

Mystery

An honour shared with Mitesh who made a mockery of his £1m valuation in the Fantasy League. Came on first change for Tango, who had picked up just 1 wicket. Wobbled the ball all over the place in the wind (easily done when your top pace is 25mph) and picked up three wickets, plus a no-ball when he was striving for pace which otherwise would have led to another wicket. Was also ‘involved’ marginally in a run out of their opener, a turning point in the game. Mystery swoops like a pregnant gazelle for a return catch, fumbles it to Dingers, and amid all the confusion only one of their batsmen elected to start running. Dingers threw to the keeper to complete the job. Went out with 1 run to win as last man, determined to beat this lot as they play in his back garden. Superbly survived one over thanks to play and misses and swipes to men close in. Punched the air in delight at the win, which also meant he could get home in time to watch Man Utd get walloped in the Champions League Final.