“YES, NO, OH SH*T”

QUINTIN BAGS A PAIR OF BALLS

 

Castlethorpe v Cublington, Sunday 24th April

 

Quintin Allen

Steady fielding performance which involved very little actual fielding from mid off to mid off. Then provided highlight of the day with the bat, opening the innings. In the first over the calling went something like, “Yes, Yes, No, Oh Shit”, as he sent opening partner Steve back in the end, after a pause of about five seconds. Then managed to bag a pair of balls, by also running out James. Good job Joe wasn’t playing. Proceeded to anchor the innings in style with 62 not out in 40 overs, steering us to victory. Good job he did.

Catches taken: 0 out of 0 chances

 

Steve Ball

Employed, rather surprisingly to most, as a seam up first change bowler. Surprised the oppo with some devilish bouncers. Surprised himself taking a couple of wickets after 5 tidy overs. First game of the season and looking forward to his chance with the bat. Unfortunately was opening with Quint (see above) so didn’t make it past the first over, despite nearly running two himself. Comforted himself by scoring for the rest of the innings to avoid umpiring, and having to gain revenge.

Catches taken: 0/0

 

Basher

Sprightly showing in the covers for most of the innings, following an ‘agreement’ with Keith swapping batting spot number 3 for the gloves. Proved a wise move. Took one good diving snag at cover, but spilled an easier one. Played steadily and ran like a demon despite the track record of his partner, putting on 93 for the second wicket. After some spanking offside shots dobbed one up, but made a solid 43.

Catches taken: 2/4

 

Chairman

Kept being moved in the field before and then a catch would miraculously pop up to where he had been standing. As a result nothing came his way (it helps to move). When skipper was working out how many overs his main bowlers had left in the last ten piped up, “I’ve still got eight left skip”. He still has eight left. Sported a new hand-crafted bat with no stickers. The throwback weapon did nothing for him other than a few edges. Fourth-top scorer with 4 runs before falling to a good catch.

Catches taken: 0/0

 

Jimbo Ball

A new leg-spinning weapon has been unearthed. No more does he trundle in off five paces and try to swing it. Amassed three wickets thanks to some smart catches and some good turn. Fantasy value rocketing. Was another Ball-based victim of Quintin’s one-man family assault thanks to a run out.

Catches taken: 0/0

 

Dion Bell

Rumbled around in the field well, some sliding stops to go with making an efficient wide target at mid on. Disappointingly for all, not called on to bowl. Given the number six batting slot, attracting big cheers when he got off the mark. Getting the spelling of his surname right meant Quintin refrained from running him out and was caught for 1.

Catches taken: 0/0

 

Will Handyside

A day to forget for the leggie as he went for a few, amassing 3 fantasy points on the day. And this included two catches worth 20 points each. Took them easily, which contrasted with the teenager ‘whatever’ one-handed attempt for one off Russ, looking like he was peering into the sun when it was actually shining the other way. Steady defence but a duck.

Catches taken: 2/4

 

Keith Finson

Razor keen to take the wicket-keeper gloves as much as possible this season. Has bought his own keeper stuff off Nick, a great bargain with Dingers only making a 25% mark up. A mixture of slappy stuff with some breathtaking one-handed takes. Maybe he should just buy one glove? Did ‘spill’ one when standing up to Steve Ball, but it was travelling. The trade off for keeping was the number 10 slot, which bizarrely became the number 8 position. No messing about, Keith surveys the field to their leg spinner. Only one man on the boundary, at deep extra point. Finno slaps his second ball straight to him. Quack.

Catches taken: 0/1

 

Nick Bell

Opened the bowling and looked threatening at all times, even trying a new end. Was actually more productive in second spell, and all three wickets were clean bowled. He had been watching his team-mates catching. Took one himself in the covers, but spilled a rapid one through his hands. Already averaging over 4 unsuccessful lbw appeals per game. As we reversed the batting order, was at number 9. They were cock-a-hoop with us at 116-7 and 46 needed to win at over a run a ball. Within five overs it was as good as over, including three booming maximums. 154 Fantasy Points, more than most of us will amass in a whole season.

Catches taken: 1/2

 

Rusty Jones

Didn’t look remotely Rusty as he rattled in. Extremely tidy spell, going for just 6 runs off his 7 overs, picking up one wicket courtesy of a Bash catch. Extended umpiring spell was required thanks to the long partnership between Quint and Basher, and did it manfully. Not needed with the bat although was all padded up and ready to go. Look out for more wickets this year now he’s not skipper.

Catches taken: 0/0

 

Nigel Handyside

Skipper in a ‘tour’ fashion, putting himself at number 11 in the batting line up. Brought himself on for a five over spell, despite please from other players. One wicket thanks to an lbw shout. It’s amazing how many more slower bowlers get. Didn’t move from first slip all innings, and we really do mean, “didn’t move”. Happy to start with a win and was repeating the words, “one hundred percent winning record” all evening.

Catches taken: 0/0